Journal Entry: Prejudice and Hatred

This morning I watched a portion of a documentary called Rosie's Fantastic Voyage... with Rosie O'Donnell, her family and almost 2000 other Gay/Lesbian families along for the ride. The documentary was intended to show how loving and 'normal' these families are, supporting the idea that they should be afforded equal rights.

I was quite shocked to see the portion in the Bahamas where two angry local church groups protested homosexuality outside the cruise ship with such vehemence and disgust, it made some of the children cry.

In those moments, I was brought to tears myself as hatred and prejudice can so negatively affect our youth. It was a reminder to me that these attitudes are harmful not only to society as a whole, but specifically to young people who live with families of same-sex partners. These children love their parents unconditionally...their sexuality is not a factor in how they view and care for them.

On the ship, everyone felt safe, accepted and loved. Off the ship, they were shamed, humiliated and condemned.

Sometimes, I feel philosophies and beliefs can neglect to take into account basic humanity and instead promote ignorance, distrust and intolerance.

It doesn't have to be that way.

"Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest of violence."

~Hebrew Proverb

Tragic Losses

Taking a moment to express the deep sadness I feel for the victims and their families in Norway. Such a shame. Yet another example of senseless violence and hatred. This example also gives me pause to feel for people all over the world who are affected by war and other violent acts... atrocities that take place everyday.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

~Mother Teresa~

Journal Entry: On Self Image

Have you ever walked in a room and felt the pressure of being scrutinized before you have even opened your mouth?

Have you ever avoided social situations so that you don't have to feel that pressure?

Do you have happiness and self-confidence in your own skin and in your own life, but then feel that get chipped away at by friends and family...the people who are supposed to love and accept you most?

I have.

There are times when I dread greetings.
In those first few moments...people can size up your state of wellness, worth and weight to determine if you are lazy, fit, happy or sad...and you are only complimented on if you exude the fit and happy persona.

I simply can't understand why our society continues to focus on and value outward appearance over a person's strengths, character and personality.

Thankfully, I have also walked in rooms whereby the people I am meeting are truly accepting of who I am, who hug me with open arms and don't base my worth as a person on my dress size, hairstyle or attire.

I can feel it either way. Words don't even need to be spoken.

I can only hope that my children experience more authentic acceptance than negativity in their lives, thus supporting them and giving them the confidence to love themselves just as they are in body, mind and soul.

Let the force of technology be with you!

"Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time."

~Rabindranath Tagore

"Mom, you know how you feel when you get a really good picture? That's how I feel when I get a shiny!"

~Lucas Goodman-Caines

So many people shake their heads at our youth. What is the world coming to with all this technology and gaming these kids do today? They spend so much time in front of screens, it's just bound to stunt their growth, vision, development and soul. Right?!

Nope.

Not always.

Our observations of the kids has shown that gaming, texting and computer time has lead to excitement, joy, motivation, learning, determination, perseverance, socialization, camaraderie, sharing, imagination and creativity.

I'll never forget while we were on the road, how our trailer was literally covered in colourful drawings of creatures inspired by the boys' games.

Or, the mornings I have woken up to find that Lucas has emailed me an excerpt of a zany story with twists and turns so reflective of the pace at which levels are beaten combined with characters and events so rich in imagination, it makes my head spin. A world, I could never dream up. A world, that I think he CAN dream up because of his interest and time spent on games.

I've watched multiple interactions of the boys playing their games with their friends...where they help each other, trade, strategize, plan, tally, forecast predictions, assess and test probability, communicate, get excited and feel good about their achievements together.

I've witnessed their interest to write online...to spell correctly...to maintain friendships with adults and children. They also communicate on a global scale by posting, watching and commenting on youtube videos.

Their outdoor games like covert missions and nerf wars... are at times inspired by the games they play online or on their 'gaming systems'...where common interests, fairness, problem-solving, strategizing and physical activity are experienced.

They are motivated to work in order to earn money to get new games/technology...which, I don't see as a bad thing at this stage. :)

Their knowledge of current technology, its capabilities and limitations astounds me. They lack fear in trying new things and trouble shooting issues related to technology. They show initiative, skill and mastery while interacting with technology. They can adapt quickly as the technology changes...which is good because it changes daily and will continue to do so.
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Of course, none of this is scientific. And I'm sure many a parent curses their child's ipod, DS, Wii or computer.... although, a lot of times those same parents can be seen sucked into the same technology themselves.

Technology provides fun and entertainment, granted... but it's not limited to just that.
I've seen it with my own eyes!

As life learners, I think it's important to remember that trust is trust. If we trust that our kids will learn
how to walk, learn how to talk, learn how to communicate and make choices at their own pace and in their own good time ... then, why do we place fear around the use of technology and gaming? They might just be onto something. :) If given the opportunity, they will be able to explore and discover the world, their place in it and their passions...doing it digitally is just a another vehicle to do so which can expand into so much more than what appears while your child is glued to a screen.

The Past Gives Perspective NOW

I'm realizing as I am looking at older photos, that one of the gifts of having those photos is to remind us to live fully present in each moment. We've all heard this before. But really, when you look at your toothless children, images of friends and family who have passed away, places you once lived, places you have traveled to... it really does remind you to cherish today... You can't get today back.

Return to Guelph Lake Trail: Letting go of Control

I forgot to add these photos from our second visit to the Guelph Lake trail off of Victoria Rd.

I am amazed at what can be done and seen within a one hour walk by the water on an overcast chilly day!

The boys were called to climb of course and shoes were ditched quite readily. They walk and play a little too close to the rushing water for my liking. Yet, their lack of fear, sense of adventure and capabilities do not surprise me anymore and instead INSPIRE me. I admire their ability to take risks and do things I would never even think to do!

Sometimes, it is still a work in progress for me to let go and trust-especially when facing potential risk to life and limb! ( I do have my boundaries) But, I recognize now, more than ever, how important it is for them to try things and to test themselves...to interact with their environment in ways that interest them.

If I try to control every inch of what they want to do, their motivation and joy is extinguished and I insert a dose of fear related to whatever it is I am trying to stop.

This extends to other areas of their lives too, of course. The use of knives, hatchets, tools, fire-building, camping outside when it is 0 degrees Celcius and anything really, that they want to attempt.

So, go ahead throw off your shoes and climb! Chop wood for the fire or your fort! Whittle that stick! Create the fire for us to warm ourselves at! Light the match for the candles! Take things apart and put them back together! Get your camping gear out even if I think it's crazy cold! :)

Go for it!

Boys, if you need me I'm here... and if I can't help, I will find someone who can. I trust in your ability to know what your capable of and that you will learn what you need to when you need to!

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."
~Friedrich Nietzsche

Formatted and Lost

I just figured out that I formatted the disc on my camera before taking of some really fun shots from our first campfire in the backyard this year.

I usually take my photos off right away, so I must have assumed I had done that.

What a bummer!

So, I will write about our evening instead of show pics. (Although I have a couple of Josh cutting our wood.)

We gathered wood and twigs for our fire-hot dogs, veggie dogs and s'more ingredients... the boys made a wicked t-pee of twigs to start it off. I mean really wicked!

In and out of all of our preparations, Oliver was let off lead by accident and escaped the back door 3 times. Each time, running through burs on the ground! Omg!

I am experienced at getting his burs out now, but really three times! eek! As I brush his beautiful coat, I am thinking a 'summer cut' might be inevitable especially here on the farm-but it's gonna hurt to see it go.

Regardless though, we made really yummy food, got really gooey dirty and had that campfire smell clinging to our hair and clothes really fast. Gotta love it.

One of my fave memories though was our go-round the group and tell a story bit by bit, one after the other. Then, the next person gets to start a new story. You should have seen the expressions on faces...smiles and laughs and expressive hand gestures especially by Matt! Jeff shaking his head and smiling at the silly crazy adventures the boys would come up with! Lots of laughs!

I look forward to doing that again and remembering to get my pics of the disc!

All in all a great, full and productive day... a visit to the bookshelf with lucas, climbing, gardening, walks and time together around the fire with the promise of many more days like this to come!

A Huckleberry Kinda Life

Huckleberry was cordially hated and dreaded by all the mothers of the town because he was idle, and lawless, and vulgar, and bad - and because all their children admired him so, and delighted in his forbidden society, and wished they dared to be like him.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain

Many people comment that my images of the boys look Huck-Finn/Tom Sawyer-like-sometimes even Norman Rockwell.... I love that their childhood emotes nostalgia and a sense of freedom to explore in nature....of a time gone by yet is fully alive for them everyday in the present.

Old Friends

When I think of my first University roommate and friend, Sharon... I remember our days at Queens...the first thing that comes to mind is sharing black currant tea and cheesecake at the Chinese Laundry Cafe...

I also think of how our room appeared...my side kinda full and messy with a noticeable 8X10 framed photo of Jeff dominating my desk while Sharon's side was neat, tidy, clean and orderly-the bed always made. :)

Now, I admire Sharon so, as one of those people who can and will do anything...and do it well. A nurse, mother, friend, gardener, farmer, builder, traveler-the list goes on.

I appreciate my old friends and how we can easily connect on and off through the years.

Isn't it nice when you can know someone who is just happy to hear your voice and all of your happenings...there's no drama...no judgement and always ending a call or note with the hope to see each other again sometime.

Yesterday, that happened for us-and I am so glad that it did.