Journal Entry: Prejudice and Hatred

This morning I watched a portion of a documentary called Rosie's Fantastic Voyage... with Rosie O'Donnell, her family and almost 2000 other Gay/Lesbian families along for the ride. The documentary was intended to show how loving and 'normal' these families are, supporting the idea that they should be afforded equal rights.

I was quite shocked to see the portion in the Bahamas where two angry local church groups protested homosexuality outside the cruise ship with such vehemence and disgust, it made some of the children cry.

In those moments, I was brought to tears myself as hatred and prejudice can so negatively affect our youth. It was a reminder to me that these attitudes are harmful not only to society as a whole, but specifically to young people who live with families of same-sex partners. These children love their parents unconditionally...their sexuality is not a factor in how they view and care for them.

On the ship, everyone felt safe, accepted and loved. Off the ship, they were shamed, humiliated and condemned.

Sometimes, I feel philosophies and beliefs can neglect to take into account basic humanity and instead promote ignorance, distrust and intolerance.

It doesn't have to be that way.

"Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest of violence."

~Hebrew Proverb

Let the force of technology be with you!

"Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time."

~Rabindranath Tagore

"Mom, you know how you feel when you get a really good picture? That's how I feel when I get a shiny!"

~Lucas Goodman-Caines

So many people shake their heads at our youth. What is the world coming to with all this technology and gaming these kids do today? They spend so much time in front of screens, it's just bound to stunt their growth, vision, development and soul. Right?!

Nope.

Not always.

Our observations of the kids has shown that gaming, texting and computer time has lead to excitement, joy, motivation, learning, determination, perseverance, socialization, camaraderie, sharing, imagination and creativity.

I'll never forget while we were on the road, how our trailer was literally covered in colourful drawings of creatures inspired by the boys' games.

Or, the mornings I have woken up to find that Lucas has emailed me an excerpt of a zany story with twists and turns so reflective of the pace at which levels are beaten combined with characters and events so rich in imagination, it makes my head spin. A world, I could never dream up. A world, that I think he CAN dream up because of his interest and time spent on games.

I've watched multiple interactions of the boys playing their games with their friends...where they help each other, trade, strategize, plan, tally, forecast predictions, assess and test probability, communicate, get excited and feel good about their achievements together.

I've witnessed their interest to write online...to spell correctly...to maintain friendships with adults and children. They also communicate on a global scale by posting, watching and commenting on youtube videos.

Their outdoor games like covert missions and nerf wars... are at times inspired by the games they play online or on their 'gaming systems'...where common interests, fairness, problem-solving, strategizing and physical activity are experienced.

They are motivated to work in order to earn money to get new games/technology...which, I don't see as a bad thing at this stage. :)

Their knowledge of current technology, its capabilities and limitations astounds me. They lack fear in trying new things and trouble shooting issues related to technology. They show initiative, skill and mastery while interacting with technology. They can adapt quickly as the technology changes...which is good because it changes daily and will continue to do so.
.
Of course, none of this is scientific. And I'm sure many a parent curses their child's ipod, DS, Wii or computer.... although, a lot of times those same parents can be seen sucked into the same technology themselves.

Technology provides fun and entertainment, granted... but it's not limited to just that.
I've seen it with my own eyes!

As life learners, I think it's important to remember that trust is trust. If we trust that our kids will learn
how to walk, learn how to talk, learn how to communicate and make choices at their own pace and in their own good time ... then, why do we place fear around the use of technology and gaming? They might just be onto something. :) If given the opportunity, they will be able to explore and discover the world, their place in it and their passions...doing it digitally is just a another vehicle to do so which can expand into so much more than what appears while your child is glued to a screen.

Trampoline Team

The boys took initiative to set up the trampoline that had been gifted to us by the Drever Family.

This is happening more and more, where they don't have to wait for Jeff or me to do something like this with them. They have no fear about figuring something out without directions and just delve in. Now it's always been that way related to technology and games but...

I have noticed the shift especially with fishing, building and gardening. With fishing, Jeff used to always be on standby for messed up lines and any other help they may need. However, they are so self-sufficient and quite capable now. They want to figure it out on their own and use each other as resources and assistants more often. There is an air of cooperation and support amongst themselves and with their friend Ali. They are just there for each other, but will also spend the time to fix things themselves. And when it comes to building, I am always amazed to discover what they know already and the confidence they have. Maybe it's because these are things I'm not confident doing and so I am more in awe of how well they adapt, try and succeed. One of the examples related to gardening occurred when I was asking Lucas over a period of time if he had researched the raspberries he wanted to plant. You know, that's my process. You want to have a successful raspberry bush, you look up the best conditions, where to plant, if it needs fertilizer or not and so on...and THEN you plant it. Eventually, he said to me, "Mom, what's there to research? It's a plant. You put it in the ground and you water it. " Okay then! And he did. And it has many leaves at the moment and is doing fine. In fact his whole garden bed of various plants is growing faster than some of my plants!

It's yet another lesson in TRUST... just sit back and let them do their thing and if they need help, they will ask. Over time, confidence, skill and independence does develop. TRUST TRUST TRUST! :)

We thank the Drever Family for their wicked gift...our whole family will enjoy it. Much appreciated!

The Past Gives Perspective NOW

I'm realizing as I am looking at older photos, that one of the gifts of having those photos is to remind us to live fully present in each moment. We've all heard this before. But really, when you look at your toothless children, images of friends and family who have passed away, places you once lived, places you have traveled to... it really does remind you to cherish today... You can't get today back.

Gone Fishin'

Spring is here and so is fishing season for the boys. They have been fishing with Ali for the past 4 days on and off-at home and at two local conservation areas. We started on the weekend by going to a take your kid to fishing event at Belwood Conservation Area where Jeff, Will, Ali and Grandpa Goodman joined us. Lots of kids out trying to catch trout at the pond. The boys spent the bulk of the event at the pond rather than taking part in all of the the structured activities. Really, I couldn't blame them. They went to fish and that's what they did!

We continued fishing at Rockwood Conservation Area and at home. So many wonderful discoveries in between catches. Among them- turtles, crayfish, salamanders, minnows, families of geese with their new babies, a blue heron, waterfalls, caves and an old mill.

Something rather notable for us was the stark contrast in our ability to observe nature and beat to our own drums freely with the school groups that would periodically descend upon the conservation area. Interestingly, each time they would race down the hill screaming until their leader/teacher came along and would immediately get them in a straight line and quiet them down and direct them about what they would learn, where they would go and when they could start and stop. Today, the teacher of a teenaged group of kids did the same and spoke to them about what they were about to see as if it were right off the pages of a pamphlet. Then, we heard him say, "You're missing some beauty right here. Stop!" And, as the group was approaching, following him, he stated: "When I was younger, I used to say last was lazy. You never want your teacher constantly saying to you-last again eh?-last is lazy." Also, he felt it important to let them know-"You are Here!"

Wow!

You know, lines and 'order', the necessary' passing of information used to be a part of my life. It felt like the way it should be. The way it is. Now, it is so foreign to me. Especially, when spending time in nature. It goes against the grain of an organic experience. You will now note exhibit A...walk now, stop now, eat now, don't go too far, stay together, learn what I want you to learn about in nature, not what you are drawn to....

Another observation with the same group, came from Josh. He heard a girl say, "Why does the water look like THAT?" Josh states: "Shouldn't she know that? She's a teenager. You know they should have a class called, Nature. Why don't they have that?Matt knows more about nature than these people. No offence Matt."

---

As a learner-directed adult, I continue to be amazed at the difference between being 'taught' arbitrary information versus immersing oneself in an environment or a subject that you have chosen for yourself. Or, that it simply appears in the course of your day...as learning just naturally takes place within anything we do... For example, for me, seeing a goose fly by or reading about geese is much different than sitting/fishing beside families of geese for hours-watching their interactions with one another and humans, how they swim, get in and out of the water, what and how they eat, how they communicate with one another and what it sounds like and so on. I can make my own conclusions about their behaviours, see threats to their environment and feel more inclined to protect and identify with them somehow. This type of understanding has immeasurable value to me.

I see this happening with the boys too-as they take initiative and participate in their own daily learning- through comments they make, the problem-solving they do, the information they seek and find, their independence, their motivation, their personal interest, the risks they take, the level of cooperation among themselves, community members and their peers.... the list goes on and I am so thankful that they have these opportunities and that I get to be there with them. What a joy!


~More fishing pictures and adventures to come!~