so, i'm sitting here and it comes to me
that i spent so much time in school thinking and using the left side of my brain, that the right side never had a chance
until now...
i never thought of myself as an artist while growing up
the most creative thing i loved to make were collages
i was a stick-figure drawer for sure!
(my favourite subjects in school were language and history.)
however, i enjoyed singing and made attempts at playing the violin-
but mainly because of the spirit-raising sounds and sense of community coming from the choir as they sang together or the orchestra as they played altogether-not because i thought i was any good at it as an individual.
as far as i was concerned i was good at spelling and language-based activities. that was where all my talent lied.
it wasn't until i was well out of school and into adulthood that i picked up a watercolour brush and found i enjoyed painting nature scenes- especially green leaves, bright sunshine and blue water. i had a sense of calm and that i was doing it just for me regardless of the end product...doing it by choice and for pleasure not because of an assignment that had specific expectations to be graded.
in university, i caught a glimmer of freedom in writing based on the recommendation of an art teacher. she suggested a book called, 'wild mind: living the writer's life' by natalie goldberg. that book changed my whole idea of language and what makes good creative writing. goldberg suggested a free-flow writing style... doesn't matter if there is proper punctuation/spelling/grammar...just write! wow! how liberating when you spend your whole life following structure and are expected to write on the lines and within the one inch margins! some of my best writing and intuitive thoughts have come through using this technique. it was so novel to me, that i remember it clearly to this day and still refer to her book to help promote inspiration as well as to decondition my conditioned thoughts!
later still, with the birth of our children, i discovered a deep love of photography and image-making. now, by personally adopting a self-directed learning style right along with my children, i have finally experienced more right-brain activity than i ever have in my life.
my sense of self has been altered and i wonder if i would have known this side of me longer, earlier, had i had more time to make my own choices about how to spend my days without the continuous expectations and judgment that comes from years and years of schooling.
being creative has added such enormous joy and value to my life. i can clearly see how valuable and enriching it can be. i feel like i'm more myself now than i ever was.
i now identify myself as a self/mentor-taught artist, published writer, photographer and image-maker... nobody said i had to do it, nobody made me do it in a specific way, i have no certificate or diploma... it's just a part of who i am. it is a gift to have the time to get to know me. :)
in recognizing this, i am better able to trust in keeping the path open for our children, so that they may have the time to discover who they are and what brings them joy.
